Effective Communication is Key to a Long Lasting Relationship

Know When and How to Start a Conversation!

One of the common reasons for spousal relationship failures is the lack of effective communication. Work on your communication skills to build a long lasting relationship.


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Blaming your partner for lack of understanding is easy. Arguably, we pass the blame even though it is our mistake to deliver the message. This action may contribute significantly to poor communication and the relationship collapse.

When my wife and I got married, we could not understand each other the way we do now. I used to blame her for not comprehending my message. Instead, I came to realize that I was not delivering my message right.

Effective communicators know what to say and when to say it. They plan their conversation and what they want to accomplish before they start it. Here are few steps that helped me to communicate effectively.

Choose Your Topic Wisely

Before you start a conversation, decide your topic. For example, you can’t start a conversation with your spouse about the children while she is the subject you want to talk about. 

In addition to your selection, stick to your topic. Sometimes, we chose one topic but get dragged into another. If you do that, you may lose focus and will most likely not achieve your goal.   

Similarly, work on how you are going to lay the group for the topic. Is it going to be a serious or a soft talk? In conclusion, be mindful of the other person’s feelings.

Know The Right Time for Communication

It is about timing if you want to have an effective communication with your spouse. Do not start a conversation when your wife is busy cooking, getting the kids ready, or doing any housework that may need her full attention.

Similarly, as woman, do not start a conversation when your spouse is about to watch a football game, or doing something in the garage that needs his full attention.

Instead, initiate the conversation when you both are free with no destruction. You can also schedule the discussion ahead of time. Scheduling time to talk gives both of you the chance to prepare.

Find a Place for the Discussion

Finding a place for your conversation goes hand in hand with finding the right time. Some people like to start a private conversation in public to gain support from others. This tactic may not work; it only makes the other person unhappy.

Find a quite place to discuss your matters without an interference. You can invite your significant other for lunch or dinner. If you want to do it at home, make sure that the children are not around.

If you don’t get to the result you wanted, no worries. Do not be frustrated if you don’t get the result you desire. Try again at a different setting and change your way of presentation. 

Questions: What are other ways to communicate effectively?

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